Well after about 3 months of silence I am making my illustrious return to the blogging world. I know all 2 of the people that follow this blog will be thrilled to tears to hear the news. May I use this first return post to formally apologize for my brief bout with seriousness and responsibility. For 3 months I acted like an adult, slept minimally, drank little and generally held myself out as a law abiding, god-fearing shmuck like the rest of you. Terrible decision I know. Luckily for you the economy has gone to shit and lawyers are about as useful as tits on a boar hog. Thanks God. My personal debt now mirrors that of our nation and quite frankly, rather than employment, I'm banking on this whole 2012 Mayan Apocalypse thing just to get me back to even.
On the bright side, this low point in my life coincides with the start of football season God's greatest gift to man. Unfortunately the two football teams I root for are two of the lousiest in the country but that will not stop from watching about 2,000 hours of football related television between now and February. Football is my constant, its my rock. The rest of my life however is a question mark. It is still too early to begin growing my Christmas beard and selling trees out of other people's yards but I only have 3 remaining job prospects to look into before resorting to working for the mafia. This should leave me with nothing but time over the next few months because the Mafia doesn't start taking interns this late in the quarter. So as I stood on my roof last night, in my robe, with my empty bottle of Jack, contemplating the inevitable six-figure hospital bill that would come from another botched suicide attempt...I mean accidental fall... I remembered, I did have a reason to live, and it was you, it was THE BLOG. After all, "Someone has to kill the babysitter" - Chip Douglas
No comments:
Post a Comment