If hazing is supposed to humble a man the Redskins let Henson off the post a little too soonThis post is related to the non-story of a Rookie LB for the Redskins, Robert Henson, who used his Twitter account to insult Redskins fans after the pathetic 9-7 win over the Rams last week. If you've been living under a rock you can read the story here.
The incident almost doesn't warrant a response but the national attention the story received combined with my utter frustration with Twitter and the Skins organization led me to the following rumination.
To begin, Twitter may very well be the first sign of the Apocalypse. Not since the advent of MySpace have I lost so much faith in humanity. I mean I know people love themselves but where do we draw the line!? As a Facebook and blog user feel free to call me a hypocrite. The thing which I feel separates me from the people I loath is that I realize nobody gives a shit what I think. Attention Twitter and Facebook users: No one that is your "cyber friend" cares that you are getting your wisdom teeth pulled. I last saw you in 11th grade, I don't want to hear that you are sipping wine, counting the starts and pumped about getting a new kitten this weekend. Your team allegiance is not fortified by your "Go (State school)" status update on Saturdays, and honestly they just clutter my home page and keep me from seeing who is "At the gym, getting ripped" that day. Neat. I didn't even mind Facebook when it was a stalking, umm I mean networking tool for college kids but now we've got Grandmothers and highschoolers bombarding us with status updates about their meaningless lives. The day status updates were added is the day Facebook died in my book. You can imagine my frustration when I realized there was a new website that was dedicated strictly to people’s “status.” That website is Twitter. Being the fool that I am I assumed Twitter would fade into obscurity when people realized their updates were just a running log of how boring their lives are, but then pseudo-celebrities stepped in. These human cancers are the key demographic for any tool of self-absorption and they really took Twitter to the next level. Now we get to hear about the opinions of every asshole from the NFL and MTV to local radio stations and high schools on our televisions. How is their stupidity our news?!? Am I the only one who doesn’t understand this? Well at least Dave Chappelle agrees: click here for his thoughts on celebrities.
Sorry for the rant, let’s get back to the story of Robert Henson now that you know a little bit about Twitter. My initial response to the story is best summed up by an e-mail I sent to some loyal Skins fans right after I read the story. It went as follows.
[begin e-mail] “Obviously this fagmo (Henson) hasn't followed the Redskins as long as we have....maybe we should blindly applaud this desperate organization for not scoring a touchdown against one of the league's worst defenses and chalk it up to Campbell "learning a new offense" or maybe Zorn is just "getting use to the position as a head coach." That would explain a senseless timeout call from the bench that could have cost us the game and a HB option pass on a 3rd and goal from the 8 yard-line the 4th time inside the Red Zone.
Because our fans boo, Henson believes our fans work 9-5 at McDonalds and don’t know football. The same people whom fill the 92,000 person stadium every week when the cheapest seat in the place costs $50 and doesn’t give you a view of the field? “Our fans work at McDonalds?” You (Henson) barely made the roster of one of the worst football teams in America...let's call it a draw. One thing I will give this kid is that our fans are 75% dumb asses and get emotional at games but so too are most NFL crowds that give half a shit about their teams. Have you seen a Philly game? Once upon a time when we won games and consistently showed effort playing on our home turf, our crowd wouldn’t dream of booing. RFK Stadium was home to the “best fans in America” but after 18 years of escalating prices, a shittier product, no championships and a hopeless front office, we sometimes feel the need to BOOO.
We are now a joke to the rest of the NFL who continues to watch new QBs come of age right before their eyes while our franchise QB stagnates after 5 years of mediocrity and ZERO playoff appearances (Our last two playoff QBs were Mark Brunell and Todd Collins). Try not to laugh when you read that. The only games we will win this year will be on the backs of our defense. Oh wait now I remember that’s how we have won every game the last 4 seasons. So yes when the offense once again almost gives away a game handed to them by the defense we are going to let the team know how we feel.
At least Joe Gibbs senile ass stepped up and took responsibility for his dim-witted 2 timeout calls (blew the Buffalo game in his last year). As a coach Zorn has thus far proven to be a dickless pansy. His playcalling since the 5th week last season seems to be far more concerned with not losing games than winning them. I just can't decide who is hurting us more, QB or coach. How bad of a statement is it that you are taking the ball out of your quarterbacks hand in the red zone to run a HB Toss Pass on a 3rd down?!!? Shit Campbell is no better than Zorn for allowing himself to accept those play calls. Now I will calm myself by trying to remember that, “a win is a win” and none come easily in the NFL but it just sucks to have to swallow what’s coming this year with such a talented roster. Of course we'll beat some teams we have no right beating and we will lose some games that we thought would be wins before the season, but it all comes down to the fact that this is not a great or hungry team.
As cliché as it sounds it is undeniable that players come to this team for a payday after they have beaten themselves up early in their careers and they know they have nothing left to prove to collect a check. Mix that talent in with some young and hungry guys (Horton, Orakpo, Kelly, Cooley) and you've got the recipe for mediocrity. The real tragedy is that the entire league knows about it and we keep doing the same thing. I think I could live with it if it were an internal problem, like having an abusive step-father who makes the kids wear long sleeves to school to cover bruises but we are being publically flogged by the organization we want to love and the whole league is there to laugh at us.
For example last year I went to some bullshit extracurricular thing at Tulane Law School and Will Smith (DE-Saints) was there fielding questions. Long story short in a 30-minute question session the Redskins came up 3 times, unprovoked, as examples of places that overpay players and where you don't have to work very hard when you get there. Here is a guy who has only been in the league 5 years and has no reason to resent the Redskins but he publicly bashed us to an audience that openly giggled at our ineptitude. As I cried into my parka in the back row I tried to come up with some sort of retort but I had nothing. This team is fucked and will stay fucked until there is a complete overhaul of the organization, we move back to the District and we get a coach with enough of a sack (Cowher/Shannahan) to tell our front office to back the fuck up while he reminds the team what football is. (Im not even going to address Snyder because his $ makes him here to stay). God I’m sad. Bravo if you read through all this, now I’m going to go empty out my medicine cabinet and drink a bottle of red. Have you ever felt like this after a win?” [end e-mail]
Yep, those are the kind of e-mails I send. I apologize to the women, children and elderly for the foul language. Sick? I know but it’s been a long time since my tabula rasa was filled with 3 Super Bowls and a team that seemingly never let me down. I wish someone would put this in Robert Henson’s locker so that he might understand why we boo. No, Mr. Henson I don’t work at McDonalds but please tell them to call me if they are hiring.
Here are two applicable Redskins videos, the 2nd of which made me bite my tongue on my Zorn comments, slightly.
Video 1 - Snyder reaction to playcalling (fixed the link)
Video 2 - NFL Films on Campbell and Zorn during Rams game
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